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The Word 11
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The Word 11 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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09-Hardcore.txt
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09-Hardcore.txt
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1996-08-01
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2KB
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67 lines
|2-DIY Hardcore
|1-by The Arabian Knight
Enjoy the true hardcore experience in the comfort of your own home !
Yes ladies and gentlemen, DIY HARDCORE brings this unique "musical"
experience to you, for "fun" and considerable profit.
|1-You'll need......
1 Knackered tape recorder
1 Twisted up cassette
1 Photocopier
1 Idiot, who can't stop talking bollocks
2 Small children, with assorted door bells and whistles
1 Magnet
1 Incredibly sad mate
|1-How it works.....
Put the twisted up cassette into the knackered tape recorder. Remove
all the paper from the photocopier, so it can't produce any photocopies.
Turn the photocopier on. The constant "click, click" of the photocopier
will be your "beat". Tell the small children to press the bells and
blow the whistles at random intervals, and this will be the "tune" of
your hardcore masterpiece. Tell the idiot to talk non-stop about how
great he is and how great the "music" is. He'll be your "MC".
Start the tape recorder, it'll jump and slip all over the tape if it's
knackered enough. If not, hit the idiot as hard as you can. This has
the double effect of buggering the tape recorder, and making the
bollocks that the idiot talks all the more stupid. Once you're
satisfied that you've recorded enough, stop the tape, and run a magnet
over the tape, to partially ruin the recording.
Turn out the lights. Turn the photocopier back on, so the room will
have authentic flickering lighting. Play the tape back. Yes ! You are
experiencing hardcore in your own home !
|2-Well Done !
You have now experienced the true hardcore effect. Now, for even more
laughs, find 1 sad mate that likes this sort of shit and sell him the
tape you produced.
The Arabian Knight
end